The Advent of Learning
Have we “covered” parenting, manners, schoolwork, life skills?Checked them off the list? Or will we take the time to UNCOVER these things, to go deep and establish a strong foundation for our kids?
In episode #250 of Sarah Mackenzie's Read-Aloud Revival Podcast she challenges the idea that we “cover” ideas or topics. She pulls it apart, questioning this approach; that we somehow cover over, or cover up a topic. She goes on to talk about uncovering a topic or idea instead. This got me thinking of advent. As we get ready to head into the holidays, we all look forward to our advent calendars. We gather around to see what piece of chocolate we each get or which ornament goes onto our Jesse tree. Shouldn't learning be like that? As the kids ask, “can we do our advent calendar?”... Don't we want them to ask, “Can we uncover some new learning now?” I imagine a puzzle board covering up yet another image underneath. With each puzzle piece removed in reverse fashion, a new picture is revealed. What is it? What does it look like? What does it remind you of? Everyone gets excited when a whole area is uncovered to reveal some identified aspect or character of the larger picture.
It begs the question: What happens when we cover material? What happens when we cover material within a specified period of time? Have you ever seen what happens when you hand out a coloring sheet and let the kids know that there are 5 minutes left in Sunday School? The kids will take a crayon and scribble the whole paper over. It is “covered” in a sense, but because they were made aware of the time constraint there was no regard for the quality of work, the enjoyment in the process or time to consider what might become of this so-called art piece. In fact, I suggest that this is worse than no coloring sheet at all. Honestly, we have wasted a perfectly good color sheet, used crayons up to no enjoyment and even taken time that could have been better spent remembering our daily verse or just connecting with the kids. The color sheet was checked of the list, the time used up and no one is any better off. Instead, everyone missed an opportunity for fellowship or deepening of the lesson already taught.
This idea, I believe, richly illustrates the crime of simply “covering” material while a timeline compels us toward completion.
Take the same coloring sheet at the beginning of the class. If given no agenda or timeline, the kids are likely to spend more time (as kids have not yet developed the notion that there exists an ominous ticking clock). The kids are likely to fill in more or all of the white spaces with intention and attention. Given time, they are likely to develop an idea of who they would like to give their new masterpiece to. With the recipient in mind, the art is often catered to the liking of the recipient. Hearts for mom, an added hand holding stick-figure for Grandma. The color sheet was not simply “covered”, it was entered into, embraced, explored and drawn out. The enjoyment is apparent and the time and care is evident. Each unique color sheet readily offering up information of indiviual characteristics and tendencies of the children.
So I ask, to what end do we aspire? A stack of scribbled worksheets representing the culmination of a “completed” school year? (Into the recycle bin they go without a second thought.) Or shall we strive to cultivate one carefully and intentionally crafted piece in which our kids proudly display their skills and hold space to address places of struggle? This requires time and space to be certain, but isn't it worth it in the end. Isn't this the point of parenting?
To cover or uncover?
And Jesus said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a head of a household, who brings out of his treasure new things and old.” Matthew 13:52
Time - part 1
Do you ever just have one of those moments where you are simply in awe of God?
Never enough time.
Running out of time.
Time goes by too quickly.
Time flies when you are having fun.
Do we not view time as a cranky and stingy old warden? Never allowing us our “fair” portion?
Truth be told, time was God's idea. God limited us, placing bookends on our rebellion and our time in this fallen world. Upon the entrance of sin, He could have, and perhaps should have, instantly separated Himself from all that is unholy (that's us). This would have been just and righteous had He done this.
But God...
God created time. Time being a physical limitation that we experience and He does not. He created it for our benefit. Had He not created time then we would have been subject to eternal separation from this Holy God. By compartmentalizing events and beings into time we could, along the timeline, receive opportunity to repent and receive salvation. He stepped into time to affect change upon our condition of despair. In doing this, He exposed our depravity and revealed His holiness; making a way, even becoming the Way. Even the Way, a journey, or a path implies the necessity of time passage, time to traverse and cover ground. Time was required for His plan of redemption. Time was possibly one of the greatest displays of His mercy known to man, entirely taken for granted and consistently seen in a negative light. In His grace and mercy, He created a LIMITED system to encapsulate the falleness of created beings, while maintaining His sovereignty and power over it. Our suffering seems to extend far beyond our choosing, but we are so limited in our human comprehension of godly things. All glory goes to God for His beautiful, merciful limitation of time which consistently reveals His full authority and providence over all creation. This life may be hard, there will be pain and trials, but they are limited to this life and He says unto all these things, “You may come this far and no farther.”
Thank you Lord for limiting me with time.
“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Devotional Life
“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.” Mark 1:35
“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.” Mark 1:35…and it struck me, how much more then, do we need to rise up early and spend time with the Lord?
It has taken more years than I would like to admit. I am still so far from perfect, but I have come to find that life just does not go as smoothly when I do not start my day submerged in the Word of God. Like the title of my new children’s book says, “My Heart Needs a Bath.” Every day I need to be washed in the Word of God.
It surely looks different for everyone, but here is what my ideal morning looks like. Sometimes I hit this mark and sometimes not so much. More and more I am finding that I hunger and thirst for this time and it is no longer a “have-to” but a “get-to”.
Let me back up and take a minute to discuss the importance of night-before prep. It takes less than 5 minutes, but it sets me up for success and eliminates distractions in the early morning hours. So I prep my tea and fill the tea pot so that it is ready to go (RIP coffee… that’s a post for another day). I set up my reading space. For me it is the kitchen table because… because ALL. THE. BOOKS. I put a blanket and pillow on my chair so that I can read comfortably on my own little tuffet (@ all you young’uns-that’s a cushy chair, Mother Goose style). I set out my Bible, of course, a notebook, a devotional and the relevant Bible commentary. For now I have been using Jon Courson’s Application Commmentary. I have been going through this for almost 4 years and have not yet exhausted it as a resource. I also have a little heat dish nearby in the winter because, honestly, it is just hard to get out of my warm bed. So, that is all the night before. All these books rest on the shelf next to the kitchen table and it’s no hassle to get it out. This way everything is ready to go the next morning when I am tired and maybe not all there yet. No excuses.
5 am - I wake up. If I want alone time with the Lord then this is when it happens in my household. My youngest will be up sometime between 6 and 7 am and I want to greet her with a smile and hug, not grumbling from under my covers that, “Mommy is still resting.”
I start the tea kettle and sit down on said tuffet to pray. Always pray first. I need the Holy Spirit to be my Teacher and lead me in understanding. If I try and do it all on my own then my eyes cross and my head spins, might even fall asleep in my chair. Just being honest. BUT by the power of the Holy Spirit words align, thoughts are clear and I gain access to my “instructions” for the day through my time of reading and praying.
Once I’ve prayed and the tea pot has whistled, then I am all set to jump in. I start with a devotional or sometimes just a godly book that I read through “devotional style”, i.e. one chapter or section at a time. The devo is like priming the pump and it gives my brain and heart a chance to catch up with the clock. I want to give my best to the Lord and after this I feel like I am fully present.
I open my Bible to wherever the ribbon has been left, going through the Bible one chapter at a time. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I started in the Gospel of John several years ago, then read the rest of the Gospels, the remainder of the New Testament and then finally began in Genesis. I have done this once all the way through. It took me about 3 years and I am now half way through for the second time, praise God!
If children are still sleeping after I have read scripture, then I pull out the relevant commentary to see what additional understanding I can add to my wheel house. This is where old customs are explained, money and measurements interpreted and the rich symbolism is drawn out for me. I love it. You guys, the Bible is just so cool.
All along I am highlighting, underlining and writing down anything that jumps out at me. This is how I “meditate” on the Word. I once read that writing down something is the same as repeating it seven times to yourself. What a great way to really burrow God’s Truth down into our hearts! Especially, when you have glitter pens!
Then I pray again. I pray over what God has revealed to me, that He would enable me to walk it out. I pray for the salvation of those who do not yet know the Lord, by name. I pray for my husband and his job, my children, their walk and future husbands and I pray for extended family. Whatever else the Lord puts on my heart, I lift it up to Him and pray His will.
Then, if the kids STILL are asleep (rare, so rare), I will lay my blanket on the floor, kneel down and sing some hymns or turn on worship music in praise of our Good God. This is possibly my favorite part. I know. I know. I just got weird. But I triple doggy dare you to try it sometime and see if it doesn’t change the trajectory of your whole day. “What if someone sees me?” Great! Even better! Can I tell you that there is nothing sweeter to me than when I feel my kiddos come out from their slumber and cuddle up to me while I give praise to the Lord. And if you really want to be moved to tears, just wait for the day that you hear that little voice singing along with yours, “nothing but the blood of Jesus.” “Sweet” isn’t a tender enough word for this experience.
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LOT. Remember, I said that this was my ideal. It is what I aim for. And you know what? Sometimes I hit that mark and the more that I hit it, the more I desire to, crave it.
You likely won’t start here. I didn’t. But build towards something like it one brick at a time. God’s Word always accomplishes what it sets out to accomplish (Isaiah 55:11 paraphrased).
Start somewhere.
Do something.
Never nothing.
…and watch your appetite for time with our Good Shepherd develop as you are fed the most nourishing spiritual food that you could ever imagine.
God is good!
“I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer.” ~Martin Luther
Books! Books! We love books!
Faith based books that will create deeply rich reading time for you and your littles.
Disclaimer: Some of these books are obviously faith based and I am happy to point people to authors that honor God in their writing. Some of these books are not necessarily faith based but have offered direction for our family on our homeschooling journey or for home management and so I have listed them here. Always read with discernment and spit out any portions that do not align with the Word of God, which is the ONLY book that is wholly trustworthy. Otherwise, we are required as Christian parents to pray that the Holy Spirit will always guide us in discernment. Happy reading!
Books for Parents
THE BIBLE!…always and everyday for every topic ever.
The 5-Hour School Week - Kaleena Amuchastegui, Aaron Amuchastegui
How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind - Dana K. White
The Courage to Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free - Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together - Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
Books for the kids...
-Little Pilgrim's Big Journey I, II, & III - Tyler Van Halteren (Children's adaptation of Pilgrim's Progress)
-Sammy and His Shepherd – Susan Hunt
-The Treasure Tree - John Trent
-The Fruit Tree - Mark Restaino
-The Biggest Story: How the Snake Crusher Brings Us Back to the Garden - Kevin DeYoung
-Max Lucado’s Wemmicks Collection
-The Oak Inside the Acorn - Max Lucado
-Because I Love You - Max Lucado
-The Tale of Three Trees - Angela Elwell Hunt
-Tuttle Twins Series - Connor Boyack (available as individual books)
-The Courageous Series - The Voice of the Martyrs
I pray that through the filling of God’s Word, these books would reflect an outpouring of Christ’s truthand love into a deeply rich reading time for you and your littles.
Mommy One-Liners
One little sentence or idea that encapsulates all that we unraveled in the process…
I don’t know about you, but I get to the point with my kids or rather my parenting where I am so sick of hearing myself. Like, “Yuck! I cannot believe how naggy I sound!” I get so frustrated with repeatedly explaining things over and over again, ad nauseam. Think about that phase. Dictionairy.com defines it as, “referring to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.” Naseua. It makes me sick. Heart sick. Soul sick. I am literally making myself nauseous with my own talking. Sad face. Imagine how my kids feel!
Enter the one-liners. At some point as the kids have grown out of toddler-hood and we deal with new opportunities to learn (euphemism for a problem), we are required to discuss why we don’t do something, what we should do differently and why that is important. Talk, talk, talk, talk. “But whyyyyyyy?” Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Follow this with reluctant or willing acceptance, but acceptance nonetheless. Dr. Scott Turansky in his book titled “Parenting is Heart Work” explains that this is behavior modification, but it fails to change the heart of the child.
When I took statistics at the Junior College, our professor, who looked more like a student with a backpack full of ego, made us do everything long hand first. STATISTICS. I don’t know if y’all realize how much work it is to average out large sample sizes and then… well, I will spare you the math lesson, but know that it was a ridiculous amount of work. Then finally, after we had struggled and become excessively frustrated and bored with the process, he would deliver the gift-wrapped, long awaited formula (hallelujah choir). The formula encapsulated the entire process of long handed work in one quaint chunk of variables and symbols. This tortuous process was not greatly enjoyed by his students, especially once we caught onto his methods. We began to sense the agonizing work of a new concept looming around the corner.
However.
However, once we received the formula, we had a deep understanding of how it worked and why we needed it. The formula itself carried with it a long-winded explanation that we did not need to rehash every single time we used it. We had gone through the process of developing the understanding, the need. There was comprehension and application built into it at this point.
That is how Mommy-one-liners work. As we enter into a new topic of childhood/mommyhood we have a lot of work to do. We discuss the problem, we talk about our sinful nature that we must fight against, we explore options that will aid in keeping the peace, we divulge frustrations and somewhere along the line we arrive at a linguistically concise synopsis of all of those thoughts; a one-liner, if you will. One little sentence or idea that encapsulates all that we unraveled in the process. So, when I bust out a one-liner my kids know what it means, they know how to apply it. The quaint phrase triggers a heart response. They know where I stand and where I won’t budge. This spares us both the lecture and the time that it takes away from life and fun.
This method, for us, has become so very effective. There is little to no argument, and I feel like we have all grown in wisdom more readily and quickly as it pertains to the situation at hand. We have been able to apply a formula of sorts to that type of problem rather than having to learn through the struggle method for every single variation of that problem. I detest the exasperated attempts to explain again; “I already told you,” or “we have already discussed this,” (picture frazzled mommy here). Instead, I am able to confidently deliver one familiar phrase that my children already understand. Should they need reminding, it is a rather short explanation with more or less ready acceptance because, in our world, in our little family, these truths and concepts have become fact, established and foundational, i.e. not up for debate.
Here are some of my go-to Mommy One-Liners:
“Try again.”
“We can do hard things.”
“Consider others as more important than yourself.”
“I take you to lots of play places, this is not one of them.”
“We can definitely do that soon, but today is not that day.”
“Little, by little, we soon gain much.”
…and there are so many more gems!
Keep your eyes peeled for my Mommy One-Liners book in the future detailing all of our favorite one-liners along with the thought and heart behind them.
Whatchya-ma-schoolers
Some of what we are and some of what we aren’t.
“So what kind of curriculum do you use?”
Deep breath. They mean well. I know that they do.
Do I bother trying to explain…?
I suppose that we have to claim the term “homeschoolers,” since we don’t send our kids anywhere for a formal education. That is a broad category. So what do I say to the other homeschool mom at the park when she asks what curriculum we use? Honestly, I usually kind of chuckle first. Curricula is so far in my rear view at this point. Well, we are “unschoolers” if I have to pick a name, but for those outside of this seemingly extreme circle, the term may imply negligence, which is on the opposite side of the spectrum from what we actually do. For those deep inside this funky little circle it may seem like a misnomer since we do have a bedtime, my kids don’t get to play videogames to their heart's content and Poptarts are never a permissable dinner option.
To those who think we are simply skipping school, I triple-dog-dare you to join me and my kids for a week, or even a day and see if you can keep up (insert eyebrow waggle here). “Wild-schooling” sounds fun and I would like to say that we pass most days in nature, but not always. “Life-schooling” may be getting closer. I don’t know what you call it, and I don’t know that I much care.
“We don’t dooo school,” my youngest started telling people when she was six and spunky. This was after I attempted to explain to her that we were going to put the brakes on workbooks and classwork. Mind you, she said these words with all the hip-shaking, hillbilly swagger she could muster. Hilarious as it is to watch people’s reactions, I surely don’t know where the southern drawl came from. So, no, we don’t “do” school. We do everything we want to do and not too much we don’t. Sound too simple? I’m sure it does. Here is the thing, people, you do not have to do all the things that you feel like you have to do. Again. You do not have to do all the things that you feel like you have to do. Yes, I wrote that twice. It’s a lot of small words, but a big idea. I want you to get it. Really get it.
Is learning a musical instrument great for stimulating the brain and increasing your child’s mental capacity? I’m sure it is. I know it is. I am sure that there are countless articles proving such. Does it feel wonderful to get in the car at dinner time, shove food down everyone’s throats as you rush, once again to a lesson, hoping that your kid pays attention and loves it ‘cause it costs as much as the weekly groceries? Hmmmm…
I’m not saying don’t do music lessons, if you love it, if they love it, if it adds value to your lives, then you should absolutely do it. Make it happen. However, if it feels like another feather that you are obligated to place in your accomplished-momma-hat, then skip it.
So, maybe we don’t have a name, someday I’ll write a book called “Whatchya-ma-school-it”. If you so chose to embrace this idea or any idea that I peddle for that matter, you are going to need to change how you think. I had to, big time. It is likely that my jump was significantly larger than what I am asking of you. Education doesn’t happen in a box as much as breathing doesn’t only happen in yoga class. You do it all day long. Sometimes you are more focused and engaged and sometimes it is more passive. If you entirely stop all forms of learning, it is because you are now dead. Fact.
Right where you are, take a moment to stop and think. Look at the books on your shelf. How are books made? Learn about it. Maybe you are reading this on a device, how is information stored? Sitting on a couch? Do all cultures use couches? Seems American to me. Wearing blue jeans? When did that become popular? Spoiler alert - it was the gold rush and they primarily originated in France or at least the material did. Hear a dog barking? Read about the domestication of dogs. Or don’t read, talk about it. Think about it. Wonder about it. Have ideas about it. Maybe read about it later. Or don’t. But, seriously, just look around. If you start looking for opportunities to learn, to teach, then you won’t ever need to lean on a preplanned worksheet again. Learn about whatever question you have right now, because you will learn in a dynamic way, a way that causes you to comprehend the subject matter and retain the information so much better than doing Lesson 17, page 90 on the earth’s crust. The earth’s crust is AWESOME! But you may miss out on a big ol’ chunk of wonder and awe when you attempt to convey it through a multiple choice reading comprehension worksheet that they have to do that day.
Ramble. Ramble. Ramble. This is the life my family lives. This is the life my family loves. Lots of rambling. Lots of reading (voluntarily because we LOVE books). And I love it. They love it. Sometimes we discuss gravity and momentum at great length and sometimes we look up Johnny B. Goode as performed by Marty McFly. Sometimes that’s all in the same five minutes because learning is as natural as a great conversation when you feel ancy to add to, build upon, interject and go down rabbit holes. How I love a good digression!
So, consider battling less and having more great conversations and call us what you will. For now, I have grown quite fond of “whatchya-ma-schoolers”.
"Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion has no hold on the mind. Therefore do not use compulsion, but let early education be rather a sort of amusement;this will better enable you to find the natural bent of the child.” ~Plato