Do Less.
We get one chance at childhood and likewise, motherhood. To do this well requires space and time. So, do less.
Do Less.
In my blog post titled “Whatchya-ma-school-it” I boldly and blatantly stated that, “you do not have to do everything that you think that you have to do.” I stand by this statement as a recovering people-pleaser and busyness addict. I was like Mr. Incredible whenever someone asked me to do something. I would be like, “Yea, I've got time.” Then what happened to him after he did all these seemingly “good things”? He was late to his own wedding. I can't help but imagine that his new wife felt less than a priority to the one person who was supposed to cherish her. In my poem “Beautiful, Glorious No” you can see how this useful tool of saying “no” too often goes unused. Then we collapse on the couch, submit ourselves to zombie status in front of the screen because we just “need” to unwind, relax, chill, whatever you call it. We yield to this value-less time all too often feeling justified because we voluntarily subjected ourselves and our families to a crazed level of busyness. There have been so many times when I thought, “Lord, there has got to be more.” Through His grace, which supercedes my stubbornness, He has shown me that there is so much more, but first I have to choose less.
I wish I could remember where I read it, but the analogy goes something like this: In the history of agriculture, man began to cultivate crops and develop strategies for improving yield and production. Along the way, one of the strategies was to provide enrichment for the crops, i.e. fertilizer. Any seasoned gardener knows that you have to “feed” your plants or they will become pale and lack nutritional content. So far, so good. Over time, however, this enrichment has replaced good practices like crop rotation, allowing the land to rest, and patiently waiting for nature to do its thing. Instead of allowing time and space, we, as a culture, have just thrown more fertilizer on the dirt, metaphorically shouting at the earth that it's taking too long to give us the fruit. More. More. More! If a little is good, then more must be better, right? SO. WRONG. Many of us know, now, the damage that we have caused from monocropping; one crop being planted over and over, lacking crop rotation, rest and replenishment. We expect the healthy balance that nature demands to just “work itself out.” Not our best plan.
Now, take this concept and apply it to our kids, to our families and our lifestyles. Enrichment comes in the form of piano lessons, soccer practice, girl scouts, youth group, gymnastics, martial arts, robotics/programming, art classes, and I could go on. All of these activities, I think we could agree, are enriching. But what happens when, instead of rest, downtime and rotating activities through, I just throw more enrichment at my kids? Let's add violin and basketball and ice skating and birthday parties. It would be like if we all stopped eating and only took vitamins and supplements. Many of you are cringing at the idea of giving up real food that you can chew on. Warm and savory. Cold and crisp. Brown powder filled capsules anyone? Yummy.
Enrichment is wonderful when carefully done. A little salt on my dish adds to the flavor and enjoyment of the golden baked potatoes, but if the cap of the salt falls off and dumps the whole contents of the salt shaker onto my dinner plate (like my brothers used to do to me), I think that we can all agree that the dish is ruined.
So, why dear sweet momma, do we continue to “season” our children's lives with more, more, and more? It's too much. We need downtime to allow our kids to be bored so that they can have the space to be creative, like God made them to be. We need unscheduled, unhurried time so that we can leave space to work out feelings and fears. We need a rotation of enrichment here and there to make like sweet.
When my family and I became “pursuant minimalists” back in 2020 (pursuant because I may never actually arrive) I started chopping away. First it was stuff. So, so freeing. I’ll post about that journey at another time. Then, thanks to COVID, every activity ever was removed from our lives as mandate. It forced us to ask, once we started getting back to our “regularly scheduled program”, WHAT do we, in fact, actually want to get back to? And you know what? We didn't go back to much. And it was glorious. Reading on the couch. Free time to hike when it was a beautiful day. Walks around the neighborhood to talk about life. Baking together. Creating something unexpected. GARDENING!!! All these things that we would not have had the bandwidth for if we got back to ALL the extra activities. I'm not saying that you should quit everything. Although it would probably be wonderful. What I am asking, on behalf of your children, (and your inner self that is crying out) is that you would do less. Choose 1 thing to not do. Then maybe one or two more.
Over the seasons, I've signed up for this and that (I claim amnesia) and inevitably the anxiety begins to creep back in and regrets over not having enough time to just live start to take over my thought life. So we get out the ax and start chopping away and it's so good.
Forget FOMO, I'm all about The Joy of Missing Out (great book by Tanya Dalton, BTW).
So take a minute and ask yourself, “Am I really living a full life or am I making up for “malnutrition” by adding another “enriching” activity to our lives?” This is no way to live, Sister.
Slow down and watch the rain storm, draw a picture with your kid, read a book on the couch, go for a walk/bike ride/run/roller skate, bake from scratch, take a nap and show your kids what a full, balanced, healthy life looks like. They only get one pass through childhood. And likewise, we want to have to be able to cherish motherhood with equal fervor, which requires space and time. Quality time AND quantity time.
Do less.
I triple-doggy-dare you.
…oh yea, I went there.
Justice for you, Mercy for me?
When we remove the Mercy Seat from the justice-demanding-Law of God, we cause our own relational, spiritual, even physical deaths. The Lord “contained” this requirement for justice in the Person of Jesus Christ.
“He struck down some of the men of Beth-shemesh because they had looked into the ark of the Lord. He struck down of all the people, 50,070 men, and the people mourned because the Lord had struck the people with a great slaughter.” 1 Samuel 6:19
Saint Augustine of Hippo made famous the theological concept that the Old Testament is Jesus concealed, and the New Testament is Jesus revealed (my paraphrase). Many Christians tend to linger in the New Testament believing that the Old Testament is ancient stuff for ancient people or maybe just a bunch of Laws that we no longer have to adhere to. But here is the thing, 2 Timothy 3:16-17 says that, “All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.” This means that there is not a single verse in the Word of God that does not have value and purpose. And if I believe John 1:3, “Through Him all things were made; without Him nothing was made that has been made,” which refers to Jesus Christ, then I must conclude that every good thing points to Jesus, is held together by Jesus and serves the purpose of exalting Jesus. By accepting these Biblical truths, it stands to reason that all Biblical text is saturated with Christ. Like a soaked sponge, every bit is dripping with the same substance, which is Jesus Christ.
“And Jesus said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a head of a household, who brings out of his treasure things new and old.” (Matthew 13:52) This verse constantly comes to mind as I traverse through the Old Testament and the Holy Spirit reveals Christ in the most seemingly obscure texts. I was a bit stunned this morning as I read about golden hemoirroids and ornamental rats being sent on their way via nursing momma cows, with no drivers, back to the Israelites so that the Philistines could avoid the abovementioned ailments. Sound absurd? Read the full story in 1 Samuel 6.
I want to zero in on verse 19 today. Momma cows walked themsleves right into an Israelites field upon Divine direction, returning the Ark of the Covenent to God's people, after they lost it, whilst confirming that it was, in fact, God's hand that was against the Philistines. What happened next? Well, the men used the wood of the cart and the cows to sacrifice unto the Lord in praise. So far, so good. Then, the men just HAD to take a peek and make sure that the enemy did not remove the cherished tablets of the 10 Commandments from the golden box. Shockingly (to us) 50, 070 men were slain by God as a result. And I was like, “whaaaat?!” And here is where a good commentary is so valuable. In Jon Courson's Application Commentary, he explains that this is exactly what happens to us when we remove the Mercy Seat from the Law.
You see, the lid of the Ark was the “Mercy Seat,” the place where the Lord met with His people, where the sacrificial blood was sprinkled and the sins of the people were atoned. Romans 3:19-20 says, “Now we know that whatever the Law says, it speaks to those who are under the Law, so that every mouth may be closed and all the world may become accountable to God; because by the works of the Law no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the Law comes the knowledge of sin.” (Emphasis mine.) Seems like bad news. And it is. But as my good friend used to say, you cannot appreciate the Good News until you fully grasp the Bad News. The Law condemns us, kills us, destroys us, shows us our depravity and demands justice that no human being can deliver. But God...
But God in His MERCY gave us Christ, Jesus Christ and all His mercy becomes ours in faith. He received the punishment for our sins and therefore fulfills the justice that is required for the payment of our sin.
The Mercy Seat IS Jesus Christ.
When the Isrealites were given the Law, they were also given hundreds of years to try and follow it and in this time many received the God-given wisdom to understand that it was not in them to be able to perfectly follow the Law. Although, many Pharisees were under self-righteous dilussion that they could somehow arrive at perfection, even adding to the impossible 613 Laws of Moses via the Talmud. Those who have an accurate understanding of their ability to follow God's Law perfectly will, at some point, conclude that they are, in fact, incapable.
Enter the Good News.
In the KJV, Galatians 3:24 explains that, “Wherefore the Law was our schoolmaster to bring us unto Christ, that we might be justified by faith.” The Law was expertly and Divinly designed to show us that we cannot do it on our own. It is Christ and Christ alone that can absorb the full cost of our sin and free us from the penalty of sin and death. He contained it, fulfilled the demand for justice, by putting a lid on it. Praise God for His unbelievable mercy.
I love mercy, I need mercy. I want mercy.
But as a human being with a sinful, flesh nature, I tend to want mercy for me and justice for others. I pull out my little Law book, removing the Mercy Seat and I go through the checklist to see how others have failed me, where they have fallen short. And it is easy to believe that I have good reason to hold them accountable, because, according to the Law, they should be. According to the Law, justice demands it. I want to be validated in holding others to the Law, but I want mercy for myself. When I do this, it causes death. The Law without mercy requires atonement with a life, with blood, ie death.
When these men removed the Mercy Seat, when they removed Jesus Christ from the justice-demanding-Law of God, they caused their own deaths, “a great slaughter.” What a powerful reminder to us. The Law shows us our sin, but if that was all there was, we would remain condemned. It is because of what Christ did on the cross that we are able to dwell in the presence of God, to come boldly before the Throne of Grace (Hebrews 4:16) and we have been emancipated, no longer slaves to sin and death, but instead, we are called children of God (1 John 3:1). So be careful Christian, “Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful. 'Do not judge, and you will not be judged; and do not condemn, and you will not be condemned; pardon, and you will be pardoned. Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.'”
Beware of removing the lid, the Mercy Seat, from the Law when you look at your brother or sister, and even yourself. The Law MUST come with the Mercy Seat lest we all perish. Praise God that He did not withhold that which is good from us “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8).
My Children Whom I Love…
The hardest thing that I will ever do is offer my kids back to the Lord, but it’s so worth it.
“‘So I have also dedicated him to the Lord; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the Lord.’ And he worshiped the Lord there.” 1 Samuel 1:28
Some parts of the Bible cause my mommy heart to come just completely undone. Abraham offering Isaac to the Lord, yea, I'm still working through that one. That'll be a post for another day. This one too, though. Hannah begged and pleaded for a son. She lived in a time and culture where people widely acknowledged barrenness as a curse from God, or at the very least, the lack of His favor (same thing, yea?). She pours out her heart, praying prayer after prayer, year after painful year, laboring and agonizing as she petitions to the Lord. So much so, that the local priest accuses her of being drunk. When was the last time that you prayed crazy-person style? I mean, it is by no means a prerequisite for God hearing our prayers, but it does, I think, reflect the posture of our hearts, at times. On your face, ugly cry, snot, yelling out. You get the picture. Well, the Bible doesn't tell us that there was any snot, but as a woman who had not gotten to experience the privilege of motherhood, that hole in her heart and her home... I think there might have been snot. Anyway, moving on then.
She offers up her prayers and petitions and then Eli, the priest, encourages her with a blessing that her prayers be answered. And to the glory of God, she conceives a son! Now, back it up. She promised in verse 11 that, if the Lord granted her a son, she would, “give him to the Lord all the days of his life.” Could you imagine, Momma? It is so much easier for me to envision myself turning into a helicopter mom, ferociously protecting my precious, only child. I just can't, outside of the grace of God, imagine that I would be able to open my death grip and drop off my adorable little, squishy toddler at the temple. We are not talking about a teenage man-child, y'all. We are talking maybe three years old. Three! The faithfulness that she demonstrates! Oi! Her trust in the Lord's protection and provision! She literally walks out the idea that we are to love the Lord our God above all else, above everyone else.
She loved the Lord so much that she gave her son, her only son, whom she loved. Familiar? I love how God gave us parenthood to help us better understand His deep, unconditional love for His children. It is by this construct of family, and the subsequent tender hearts that pulse with such vulnerability, that we allow ourselves to love someone THAT much. This story is such a gift to us Momma Bears. I imagine our Good Lord, saying to my swollen-with-love momma heart, “Yes, I want you to give me everything. Even them. Even your children.” Gasp!… Nervous whimper anyone? But, He never asks us to do what He has not also been willing to do. And it is always good. Think for a moment, how He gave His Son, knowing full well what His Beloved would suffer. When we follow His example, He then grows our children in their spiritual walk, protects them, uses them powerfully for His glory and truly exceeds our expectations.
But, seriously? Three? Which brings me to my next point: three was not too young for a boy to begin walking in the ways of the Lord, learning scripture, being taught how to minister to (ie. spend time with) the Lord. In other words, love God. As he learned to walk with his physical feet, he learned to walk out his faith. As his palate for meat was developed, so his hunger and understanding of God's Word developed. She did not wait until he was on the cusp of adulthood to say, “okay, honey, time to be a big boy and learn this all on your own now, but you can live in my basement while you do. Take your time. Life is so hard.” Ahem. She normalized complete devotion to the Lord from his toddler years, allowing him to aim at becoming a man. She set his trajectory from the get-go. She knew where to aim her little “arrow”. All he knew was to live his life 100% completely devoted to loving the Lord, serving the Lord and learning His Word. That's what makes a real man.
So, why do we wait? “Oh, the Bible is hard to understand…” Not by the power of the Holy Spirit. “There are events and topics that my child is not ready for in the Bible.” With prayerful discernment, let God work that out.
Here is what I know: my kids do not go to heaven because I love Jesus. They are not guarenteed to make the right choices because they go to Sunday School and they won't stay on the straight and narrow because I tell them to, no matter how smoldering my mom-stare is. It is critical that they fall in love with Christ themselves. It is vital that they develop a hunger and thirst for the Word of God lest they suffer spiritual starvation.
It defies my selfish nature and fearful, worldly logic to let go of my child. These beautiful children came from the Lord, He lovingly gifted them to us, and so we return them to the Lord because His ways are higher and His thoughts are higher (Isaiah 55:8-9) and His plans for them (and me!) are much better than my plans could ever be(Jeremiah 29:11). I don't want my kids to live out anything less than the best that God has for them and so, I HAVE to do the hardest thing that I will ever do and offer my kids back to the Lord, dedicate them to the Lord; as long as they live they are dedicated to the Lord.
“…Where did you glean today?…”
Let Ruth 2:19 bless you, Sister, with a sound mind today in Christ Jesus. Simple, but not easy. Ask yourself, “Where have you gleaned today and where have you worked?”
“Where did you glean today and where did you work?” Ruth 2:19
First things first, it was brought to my attention by a good friend that “glean” apparently isn’t in the standard vocabulary of your typical blog reader. Funny. Aggregate culture and blogging don’t seem to have an overwhelming amount of overlap. Go figure. So, gleaning was a practice first implemented by God’s good grace (in Leviticus 19:9-10)for the poor and foreigners. After the field workers harvested the grain of their field once, they could not go over it a second time and were not to harvest into the pockets of the corners. What they missed or skipped over was what we refer to today as a welfare program. Those who were willing to work could go and harvest the remainder from any field, or “glean” what was left. I would like to add a more modern comprehension of this word as it has also taken to mean, that which we collect or pick up along the way in terms of ideas or wisdom, as in, “what did you glean from the sermon today?” Doeth not all people speaketh so?
Okay, got that out of the way. Now, if you haven't read the book of Ruth with a good commentary, like Jon Courson, then you are definitely missing out. This week, I was reading through and this verse or rather, this piece or morsel of this verse, totally struck me. If you are like me, then you are faced with constant decisions. Decision fatigue is such a real thing. Daily I hope and think and pray that I am listening to the Holy Spirit and making decisions that honor God. However, I am excessively proficient when it comes to talking myself into and out of things. Good things, bad things... doesn't matter. I can convince myself to do or not do the same thing in the same day, sometimes even for the same reasons. Man, I am so darn persuasive... but it has caused me to be, I'm afraid, what James 1:8 refers to as “a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways,” or as they say in Chicken Little, “a gutless flip-flopper”. Sigh.
So at times, I find myself begging and pleading God to show me what I should do. HOW do I hear from You, Lord? How do I listen for that Still, Small Voice when my inner voice keeps talking over every. other. voice. This may or may not be, ahem, something that I also need to work on in real life with my real people. I think, oftentimes, that the Lord does speak to me in my early morning quiet time, and I'm like, “Okey dokie, got it all figured out. That's pretty clear, Lord.” Then the day goes on and I'm like, “....buuuuut what about this and what about that and what about them and what about me?...” And before you know it, I can do a total 180 and talk myself right out of the thing that I was so sure of.
Through much reading and digging and studying, I have seen over and over that one of the methods of confirming an answer is to hold it up to the Word of God. Like taking a counterfeit bill and comparing it to the real thing. “Which one of these things is not like the other....?” (Sesame Street anyone?) Find the differences? It is a perfect match or are there more leaves on that flower and a pocket on the boys shirt where there isn't one in the other picture. But seriously, does “my idea” sound like God's good grace? Does this idea seem like it will glorify God and serve others? Will this effort honor my husband and guard my ministry unto my children?
...Or...does it just make sense by the world's standards? In Jonathan Pokluda's podcast episode 344: Obeying the Voice of God he discusses how the voice of the world and the voice of the enemy “makes sense”. “This will make me money”, “I want to protect my investments”, “I have enough time for this”, “I will enjoy this”, “This will bring me pleasure”. Makes sense. Buuuuut, walking in faith rarely “makes sense”. THAT, my friend, is why it is called faith. It doesn't make sense at face value. It is not until we are on the other side of obedience to God that we could have ever imagined that He would work it out that way. In His omniscience He sees the whole picture, He knows the whole time line, what strings need to be tugged and what (or who!) needs to be added or eliminated, and it is in His infinite creativity that He works it all out.
Let's bring this full circle. “Where did you glean today and where did you work?” What ideas did you pick up? What voices are you listening to? What worldview are you allowing to shape your understanding of what's next for you? Where did you work today? Did you put forth efforts and grind today in the world's economy, pursuing that which the world pursues?
Or did you glean from the Word of God, filling your mind with Truth, Wisdom and Understanding. When I lay this foundation in my heart before the sun comes up, before my kids roll out of bed, then I am better able to answer, “Does this sound like my loving Shepherd? Should I pursue this 'work'? And to what end?”
Girl (or Dude, as the case may be), as the thoughts run wildly through your head, you pursue this or that, you expend these efforts toward a goal, ask yourself, “Where did I glean today and where have I worked?” By this metric, this straight-edge, we can better perceive where we have veered from what is straight (and narrow), right and true. And then, in turn, course correct.
May the good Lord bless you, Friend, with a sound mind today in Christ Jesus.
The Advent of Learning
Have we “covered” parenting, manners, schoolwork, life skills?Checked them off the list? Or will we take the time to UNCOVER these things, to go deep and establish a strong foundation for our kids?
In episode #250 of Sarah Mackenzie's Read-Aloud Revival Podcast she challenges the idea that we “cover” ideas or topics. She pulls it apart, questioning this approach; that we somehow cover over, or cover up a topic. She goes on to talk about uncovering a topic or idea instead. This got me thinking of advent. As we get ready to head into the holidays, we all look forward to our advent calendars. We gather around to see what piece of chocolate we each get or which ornament goes onto our Jesse tree. Shouldn't learning be like that? As the kids ask, “can we do our advent calendar?”... Don't we want them to ask, “Can we uncover some new learning now?” I imagine a puzzle board covering up yet another image underneath. With each puzzle piece removed in reverse fashion, a new picture is revealed. What is it? What does it look like? What does it remind you of? Everyone gets excited when a whole area is uncovered to reveal some identified aspect or character of the larger picture.
It begs the question: What happens when we cover material? What happens when we cover material within a specified period of time? Have you ever seen what happens when you hand out a coloring sheet and let the kids know that there are 5 minutes left in Sunday School? The kids will take a crayon and scribble the whole paper over. It is “covered” in a sense, but because they were made aware of the time constraint there was no regard for the quality of work, the enjoyment in the process or time to consider what might become of this so-called art piece. In fact, I suggest that this is worse than no coloring sheet at all. Honestly, we have wasted a perfectly good color sheet, used crayons up to no enjoyment and even taken time that could have been better spent remembering our daily verse or just connecting with the kids. The color sheet was checked of the list, the time used up and no one is any better off. Instead, everyone missed an opportunity for fellowship or deepening of the lesson already taught.
This idea, I believe, richly illustrates the crime of simply “covering” material while a timeline compels us toward completion.
Take the same coloring sheet at the beginning of the class. If given no agenda or timeline, the kids are likely to spend more time (as kids have not yet developed the notion that there exists an ominous ticking clock). The kids are likely to fill in more or all of the white spaces with intention and attention. Given time, they are likely to develop an idea of who they would like to give their new masterpiece to. With the recipient in mind, the art is often catered to the liking of the recipient. Hearts for mom, an added hand holding stick-figure for Grandma. The color sheet was not simply “covered”, it was entered into, embraced, explored and drawn out. The enjoyment is apparent and the time and care is evident. Each unique color sheet readily offering up information of indiviual characteristics and tendencies of the children.
So I ask, to what end do we aspire? A stack of scribbled worksheets representing the culmination of a “completed” school year? (Into the recycle bin they go without a second thought.) Or shall we strive to cultivate one carefully and intentionally crafted piece in which our kids proudly display their skills and hold space to address places of struggle? This requires time and space to be certain, but isn't it worth it in the end. Isn't this the point of parenting?
To cover or uncover?
And Jesus said to them, “Therefore every scribe who has become a disciple of the kingdom of heaven is like a head of a household, who brings out of his treasure new things and old.” Matthew 13:52
Time - part 1
Do you ever just have one of those moments where you are simply in awe of God?
Never enough time.
Running out of time.
Time goes by too quickly.
Time flies when you are having fun.
Do we not view time as a cranky and stingy old warden? Never allowing us our “fair” portion?
Truth be told, time was God's idea. God limited us, placing bookends on our rebellion and our time in this fallen world. Upon the entrance of sin, He could have, and perhaps should have, instantly separated Himself from all that is unholy (that's us). This would have been just and righteous had He done this.
But God...
God created time. Time being a physical limitation that we experience and He does not. He created it for our benefit. Had He not created time then we would have been subject to eternal separation from this Holy God. By compartmentalizing events and beings into time we could, along the timeline, receive opportunity to repent and receive salvation. He stepped into time to affect change upon our condition of despair. In doing this, He exposed our depravity and revealed His holiness; making a way, even becoming the Way. Even the Way, a journey, or a path implies the necessity of time passage, time to traverse and cover ground. Time was required for His plan of redemption. Time was possibly one of the greatest displays of His mercy known to man, entirely taken for granted and consistently seen in a negative light. In His grace and mercy, He created a LIMITED system to encapsulate the falleness of created beings, while maintaining His sovereignty and power over it. Our suffering seems to extend far beyond our choosing, but we are so limited in our human comprehension of godly things. All glory goes to God for His beautiful, merciful limitation of time which consistently reveals His full authority and providence over all creation. This life may be hard, there will be pain and trials, but they are limited to this life and He says unto all these things, “You may come this far and no farther.”
Thank you Lord for limiting me with time.
“For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Devotional Life
“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.” Mark 1:35
“Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.” Mark 1:35…and it struck me, how much more then, do we need to rise up early and spend time with the Lord?
It has taken more years than I would like to admit. I am still so far from perfect, but I have come to find that life just does not go as smoothly when I do not start my day submerged in the Word of God. Like the title of my new children’s book says, “My Heart Needs a Bath.” Every day I need to be washed in the Word of God.
It surely looks different for everyone, but here is what my ideal morning looks like. Sometimes I hit this mark and sometimes not so much. More and more I am finding that I hunger and thirst for this time and it is no longer a “have-to” but a “get-to”.
Let me back up and take a minute to discuss the importance of night-before prep. It takes less than 5 minutes, but it sets me up for success and eliminates distractions in the early morning hours. So I prep my tea and fill the tea pot so that it is ready to go (RIP coffee… that’s a post for another day). I set up my reading space. For me it is the kitchen table because… because ALL. THE. BOOKS. I put a blanket and pillow on my chair so that I can read comfortably on my own little tuffet (@ all you young’uns-that’s a cushy chair, Mother Goose style). I set out my Bible, of course, a notebook, a devotional and the relevant Bible commentary. For now I have been using Jon Courson’s Application Commmentary. I have been going through this for almost 4 years and have not yet exhausted it as a resource. I also have a little heat dish nearby in the winter because, honestly, it is just hard to get out of my warm bed. So, that is all the night before. All these books rest on the shelf next to the kitchen table and it’s no hassle to get it out. This way everything is ready to go the next morning when I am tired and maybe not all there yet. No excuses.
5 am - I wake up. If I want alone time with the Lord then this is when it happens in my household. My youngest will be up sometime between 6 and 7 am and I want to greet her with a smile and hug, not grumbling from under my covers that, “Mommy is still resting.”
I start the tea kettle and sit down on said tuffet to pray. Always pray first. I need the Holy Spirit to be my Teacher and lead me in understanding. If I try and do it all on my own then my eyes cross and my head spins, might even fall asleep in my chair. Just being honest. BUT by the power of the Holy Spirit words align, thoughts are clear and I gain access to my “instructions” for the day through my time of reading and praying.
Once I’ve prayed and the tea pot has whistled, then I am all set to jump in. I start with a devotional or sometimes just a godly book that I read through “devotional style”, i.e. one chapter or section at a time. The devo is like priming the pump and it gives my brain and heart a chance to catch up with the clock. I want to give my best to the Lord and after this I feel like I am fully present.
I open my Bible to wherever the ribbon has been left, going through the Bible one chapter at a time. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I started in the Gospel of John several years ago, then read the rest of the Gospels, the remainder of the New Testament and then finally began in Genesis. I have done this once all the way through. It took me about 3 years and I am now half way through for the second time, praise God!
If children are still sleeping after I have read scripture, then I pull out the relevant commentary to see what additional understanding I can add to my wheel house. This is where old customs are explained, money and measurements interpreted and the rich symbolism is drawn out for me. I love it. You guys, the Bible is just so cool.
All along I am highlighting, underlining and writing down anything that jumps out at me. This is how I “meditate” on the Word. I once read that writing down something is the same as repeating it seven times to yourself. What a great way to really burrow God’s Truth down into our hearts! Especially, when you have glitter pens!
Then I pray again. I pray over what God has revealed to me, that He would enable me to walk it out. I pray for the salvation of those who do not yet know the Lord, by name. I pray for my husband and his job, my children, their walk and future husbands and I pray for extended family. Whatever else the Lord puts on my heart, I lift it up to Him and pray His will.
Then, if the kids STILL are asleep (rare, so rare), I will lay my blanket on the floor, kneel down and sing some hymns or turn on worship music in praise of our Good God. This is possibly my favorite part. I know. I know. I just got weird. But I triple doggy dare you to try it sometime and see if it doesn’t change the trajectory of your whole day. “What if someone sees me?” Great! Even better! Can I tell you that there is nothing sweeter to me than when I feel my kiddos come out from their slumber and cuddle up to me while I give praise to the Lord. And if you really want to be moved to tears, just wait for the day that you hear that little voice singing along with yours, “nothing but the blood of Jesus.” “Sweet” isn’t a tender enough word for this experience.
I KNOW THIS SOUNDS LIKE A LOT. Remember, I said that this was my ideal. It is what I aim for. And you know what? Sometimes I hit that mark and the more that I hit it, the more I desire to, crave it.
You likely won’t start here. I didn’t. But build towards something like it one brick at a time. God’s Word always accomplishes what it sets out to accomplish (Isaiah 55:11 paraphrased).
Start somewhere.
Do something.
Never nothing.
…and watch your appetite for time with our Good Shepherd develop as you are fed the most nourishing spiritual food that you could ever imagine.
God is good!
“I have so much to do that I shall have to spend the first three hours in prayer.” ~Martin Luther
Books! Books! We love books!
Faith based books that will create deeply rich reading time for you and your littles.
Disclaimer: Some of these books are obviously faith based and I am happy to point people to authors that honor God in their writing. Some of these books are not necessarily faith based but have offered direction for our family on our homeschooling journey or for home management and so I have listed them here. Always read with discernment and spit out any portions that do not align with the Word of God, which is the ONLY book that is wholly trustworthy. Otherwise, we are required as Christian parents to pray that the Holy Spirit will always guide us in discernment. Happy reading!
Books for Parents
THE BIBLE!…always and everyday for every topic ever.
The 5-Hour School Week - Kaleena Amuchastegui, Aaron Amuchastegui
How to Manage Your Home Without Losing Your Mind - Dana K. White
The Courage to Be Disliked - Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga
Lies Women Believe: And the Truth that Sets Them Free - Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together - Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth
Books for the kids...
-Little Pilgrim's Big Journey I, II, & III - Tyler Van Halteren (Children's adaptation of Pilgrim's Progress)
-Sammy and His Shepherd – Susan Hunt
-The Treasure Tree - John Trent
-The Fruit Tree - Mark Restaino
-The Biggest Story: How the Snake Crusher Brings Us Back to the Garden - Kevin DeYoung
-Max Lucado’s Wemmicks Collection
-The Oak Inside the Acorn - Max Lucado
-Because I Love You - Max Lucado
-The Tale of Three Trees - Angela Elwell Hunt
-Tuttle Twins Series - Connor Boyack (available as individual books)
-The Courageous Series - The Voice of the Martyrs
I pray that through the filling of God’s Word, these books would reflect an outpouring of Christ’s truthand love into a deeply rich reading time for you and your littles.
Mommy One-Liners
One little sentence or idea that encapsulates all that we unraveled in the process…
I don’t know about you, but I get to the point with my kids or rather my parenting where I am so sick of hearing myself. Like, “Yuck! I cannot believe how naggy I sound!” I get so frustrated with repeatedly explaining things over and over again, ad nauseam. Think about that phase. Dictionairy.com defines it as, “referring to something that has been done or repeated so often that it has become annoying or tiresome.” Naseua. It makes me sick. Heart sick. Soul sick. I am literally making myself nauseous with my own talking. Sad face. Imagine how my kids feel!
Enter the one-liners. At some point as the kids have grown out of toddler-hood and we deal with new opportunities to learn (euphemism for a problem), we are required to discuss why we don’t do something, what we should do differently and why that is important. Talk, talk, talk, talk. “But whyyyyyyy?” Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. Follow this with reluctant or willing acceptance, but acceptance nonetheless. Dr. Scott Turansky in his book titled “Parenting is Heart Work” explains that this is behavior modification, but it fails to change the heart of the child.
When I took statistics at the Junior College, our professor, who looked more like a student with a backpack full of ego, made us do everything long hand first. STATISTICS. I don’t know if y’all realize how much work it is to average out large sample sizes and then… well, I will spare you the math lesson, but know that it was a ridiculous amount of work. Then finally, after we had struggled and become excessively frustrated and bored with the process, he would deliver the gift-wrapped, long awaited formula (hallelujah choir). The formula encapsulated the entire process of long handed work in one quaint chunk of variables and symbols. This tortuous process was not greatly enjoyed by his students, especially once we caught onto his methods. We began to sense the agonizing work of a new concept looming around the corner.
However.
However, once we received the formula, we had a deep understanding of how it worked and why we needed it. The formula itself carried with it a long-winded explanation that we did not need to rehash every single time we used it. We had gone through the process of developing the understanding, the need. There was comprehension and application built into it at this point.
That is how Mommy-one-liners work. As we enter into a new topic of childhood/mommyhood we have a lot of work to do. We discuss the problem, we talk about our sinful nature that we must fight against, we explore options that will aid in keeping the peace, we divulge frustrations and somewhere along the line we arrive at a linguistically concise synopsis of all of those thoughts; a one-liner, if you will. One little sentence or idea that encapsulates all that we unraveled in the process. So, when I bust out a one-liner my kids know what it means, they know how to apply it. The quaint phrase triggers a heart response. They know where I stand and where I won’t budge. This spares us both the lecture and the time that it takes away from life and fun.
This method, for us, has become so very effective. There is little to no argument, and I feel like we have all grown in wisdom more readily and quickly as it pertains to the situation at hand. We have been able to apply a formula of sorts to that type of problem rather than having to learn through the struggle method for every single variation of that problem. I detest the exasperated attempts to explain again; “I already told you,” or “we have already discussed this,” (picture frazzled mommy here). Instead, I am able to confidently deliver one familiar phrase that my children already understand. Should they need reminding, it is a rather short explanation with more or less ready acceptance because, in our world, in our little family, these truths and concepts have become fact, established and foundational, i.e. not up for debate.
Here are some of my go-to Mommy One-Liners:
“Try again.”
“We can do hard things.”
“Consider others as more important than yourself.”
“I take you to lots of play places, this is not one of them.”
“We can definitely do that soon, but today is not that day.”
“Little, by little, we soon gain much.”
…and there are so many more gems!
Keep your eyes peeled for my Mommy One-Liners book in the future detailing all of our favorite one-liners along with the thought and heart behind them.
Whatchya-ma-school-it
Some of what we are and some of what we aren’t.
“So what kind of curriculum do you use?”
Deep breath. They mean well. I know that they do.
Do I bother trying to explain…?
I suppose that we have to claim the term “homeschoolers,” since we don’t send our kids anywhere for a formal education. That is a broad category. So what do I say to the other homeschool mom at the park when she asks what curriculum we use? Honestly, I usually kind of chuckle first. Curricula is so far in my rear view at this point. Well, we are “unschoolers” if I have to pick a name, but for those outside of this seemingly extreme circle, the term may imply negligence, which is on the opposite side of the spectrum from what we actually do. For those deep inside this funky little circle it may seem like a misnomer since we do have a bedtime, my kids don’t get to play videogames to their heart's content and Poptarts are never a permissable dinner option.
To those who think we are simply skipping school, I triple-dog-dare you to join me and my kids for a week, or even a day and see if you can keep up (insert eyebrow waggle here). “Wild-schooling” sounds fun and I would like to say that we pass most days in nature, but not always. “Life-schooling” may be getting closer. I don’t know what you call it, and I don’t know that I much care.
“We don’t dooo school,” my youngest started telling people when she was six and spunky. This was after I attempted to explain to her that we were going to put the brakes on workbooks and classwork. Mind you, she said these words with all the hip-shaking, hillbilly swagger she could muster. Hilarious as it is to watch people’s reactions, I surely don’t know where the southern drawl came from. So, no, we don’t “do” school. We do everything we want to do and not too much we don’t. Sound too simple? I’m sure it does. Here is the thing, people, you do not have to do all the things that you feel like you have to do. Again. You do not have to do all the things that you feel like you have to do. Yes, I wrote that twice. It’s a lot of small words, but a big idea. I want you to get it. Really get it.
Is learning a musical instrument great for stimulating the brain and increasing your child’s mental capacity? I’m sure it is. I know it is. I am sure that there are countless articles proving such. Does it feel wonderful to get in the car at dinner time, shove food down everyone’s throats as you rush, once again to a lesson, hoping that your kid pays attention and loves it ‘cause it costs as much as the weekly groceries? Hmmmm…
I’m not saying don’t do music lessons, if you love it, if they love it, if it adds value to your lives, then you should absolutely do it. Make it happen. However, if it feels like another feather that you are obligated to place in your accomplished-momma-hat, then skip it.
So, maybe we don’t have a name, someday I’ll write a book called “Whatchya-ma-school-it”. If you so chose to embrace this idea or any idea that I peddle for that matter, you are going to need to change how you think. I had to, big time. It is likely that my jump was significantly larger than what I am asking of you. Education doesn’t happen in a box as much as breathing doesn’t only happen in yoga class. You do it all day long. Sometimes you are more focused and engaged and sometimes it is more passive. If you entirely stop all forms of learning, it is because you are now dead. Fact.
Right where you are, take a moment to stop and think. Look at the books on your shelf. How are books made? Learn about it. Maybe you are reading this on a device, how is information stored? Sitting on a couch? Do all cultures use couches? Seems American to me. Wearing blue jeans? When did that become popular? Spoiler alert - it was the gold rush and they primarily originated in France or at least the material did. Hear a dog barking? Read about the domestication of dogs. Or don’t read, talk about it. Think about it. Wonder about it. Have ideas about it. Maybe read about it later. Or don’t. But, seriously, just look around. If you start looking for opportunities to learn, to teach, then you won’t ever need to lean on a preplanned worksheet again. Learn about whatever question you have right now, because you will learn in a dynamic way, a way that causes you to comprehend the subject matter and retain the information so much better than doing Lesson 17, page 90 on the earth’s crust. The earth’s crust is AWESOME! But you may miss out on a big ol’ chunk of wonder and awe when you attempt to convey it through a multiple choice reading comprehension worksheet that they have to do that day.
Ramble. Ramble. Ramble. This is the life my family lives. This is the life my family loves. Lots of rambling. Lots of reading (voluntarily because we LOVE books). And I love it. They love it. Sometimes we discuss gravity and momentum at great length and sometimes we look up Johnny B. Goode as performed by Marty McFly. Sometimes that’s all in the same five minutes because learning is as natural as a great conversation when you feel ancy to add to, build upon, interject and go down rabbit holes. How I love a good digression!
So, consider battling less and having more great conversations and call us what you will. For now, I have grown quite fond of “whatchya-ma-schoolers”.
"Knowledge which is acquired under compulsion has no hold on the mind. Therefore do not use compulsion, but let early education be rather a sort of amusement;this will better enable you to find the natural bent of the child.” ~Plato